Title of the day: what is the true meaning of breaking, moulding and using by God?

today I receive and learn what is the true meaning of been break by God... it is terrible... really terrible.. no one ever want to hv such feeling of terrible hurst and pain in you.. the pain that is beyond what u can bear... but.. strangly.. I too feel a peace... a peace that is beyond my understanding... it is like when u hv been broken up into tiny pics.. to be re-mould by God again... not knowing what is the future lay ahead of you...

The desire of your heart... that has been completely smash.. those prayers, hopes and desires.. hv been completely smash... by God... I shouted at him " WHY LORD!! this is not the Lord that I have know!!! why must this thing happen to me!?! Why are u doing this to me?!!" the unexplainable pain and confusion.... why... is the only thing i can should to God...

but what about this special peace in me? could it be that I am already numb? no feeling anymore? or God is protecting and comforting me at period of time... Father.. this can only ans by you....

Heavenly Father, so sorry that I cant help to blame myself for the things that happen.. but Lord if u allow it to happen.. u must hv yr purpose.. I dont know.. father, I only ask that may you allow me to know what is the purpose u hv for me... help me to understand those things tat I dont understand.. speak to me in what ever way u pleases.. I am like a broken jar now... into many pics... if is part of this moulding process I pray that Lord I will feel the victory again... Lord I really wana hug u and cry out to you... no words can explain what I am going through emotionally.. no one knows... only u know... father I pray that u will remind me to be still and know that you are God.. in Jesus name I pray.. Amen.